I'm back in Oregon for a spell. My flights went smoothly, and I've already thoroughly enjoyed my time with my family. I don't have much as far as news to give you. It is so nice to really be able to relax without time constraints and huge to-dos hanging over my head. I'm hoping to be able to use this month to spend some time in reflection over my experiences during the term and over life in general.
Before I left for UMSL, I went out to breakfast with a dear friend, Mrs. Knopp. One thing she said to me in the midst of our conversation was that I should write myself a letter that I could pull out anytime I was at school and felt frustrated, like I wanted to quit, like I didn't belong there, etc. This post is that letter. It has been interesting to go back through and see just how much God has had His hand in the whole situation, and I thought you might like to see it, too. If nothing else, I hope this will remind you and I that no matter what our situations are or how clueless we feel about our next step, He'll let us know the moment we need to and He'll bring the right opportunities, situations, and people in order for things to transpire.
For the Days When College Seems Like the Crappiest Idea I Ever Had:
Maren,
God brought you here. He has had His hand in this since the beginning...He has a purpose for you here, whether you can see it or not!
It is Spring 2007. At an OPAYCO rehearsal, Josh mentions that you should apply for a string quartet camp called Britt. He says they're short violists and asks if he can send them your information. You say "sure!" A few weeks later, Britt contacts you and asks if you would like to send in an audition CD. (By this time auditions are long past...it is May or June and live auditions took place in February or March.) You say "sure, I'd love to! Just give me a little time to prepare an audition CD." They tell you, "Okay, but the sooner, the better." It has been a while since you made a CD of your playing...the piece you played for districts was in early March and you foolishly thought you were done with the piece, so you've let it slip since then. You and Nathan take a couple weeks to frantically work it back up to snuff and make an audition CD that you think kind of sucks, but you say to yourself "Oh well, we'll see what happens. If I get in, I get in. What's the worst that could happen?"
Amazingly, a few weeks later you recieve your acceptance letter! Not only that, but you also recieve a large scholarship. Your parents go dutch with you for the rest, and miraculously a $1200 camp ends up costing you between $200 and $300! All of this was given to you unexpectedly in the span of about a month and a half.
You get the music mailed to you. You practice hard and mark up the scores. The day finally comes when you meet Josh and David off of the freeway and you road-trip it down to Ashland.
We arrive at the SOU dorms, and everyone is amazing and very friendly and kind. You meet the members of Arianna String Quartet, who teach at UMSL and you think they're amazing. You and your quartet practice hard. You become somewhat of a leader and peacemaker in rehearsals. You really begin to dig deeply into the music and get at the heart of it. You grow by leaps and bounds musically, and the Arianna gives you plenty of inspiration and encouragement.
At one of the last concerts you and your fellow students go to watch, Kurt, the cellist from the Arianna, takes you aside and offers you a potential scholarship to UMSL, a school you had never heard of, and something you were never pursuing or had even dreamed of. Even up to this point, you were not sure at all what you wanted to do with your life, much less where you wanted to go to college or what you wanted to major in. You had no direction. You had toyed with the idea of the medical field or science, like Dad suggested. You had also toyed with the idea of music, but never too seriously because it seemed like such an incredible long shot, and really sketch as far as getting a job. Now you really begin to think about it. The Arianna are incredibly passionate about teaching, and they would take care of you. If you get a full ride, would the time spent be a waste? I really really really love music...
Kurt begins to contact you via email and phone and you slowly set up and shape what school at UMSL would look like. You wanted to audition for other colleges, too, but due to Nathan's wife having so many complications with the birth of their second child, you didn't have a lesson for a couple of months in the fall, so you weren't ready by the time those auditions came around.
You visit UMSL in January. You stay with a friend from Britt and she and another Britt buddy show you around for four days. You check ou thte city, the campus, the dorms, the lifestyle, the classes, and you like what you see. Robert, the violist for the Arianna, announces his engagement to a cellist in the New York Philharmonic and therefore his upcoming retirement from the Arianna. You aren't sure who your teacher would be (and strangely, you aren't worried about it), but other than that, the school is wonderful. You would be taken care of by the Arianna and by your friends there.
You send in your papers and are accepted to the university. Spring 2008 is a whirlwind of emails and phone calls, but by the end of it in the summer, all the finances and details are taken care of. All of your classes from CCC transferred, and you have no more pre-junior level general eds to take care of. You're living in the dorms (in which you get your own room), Josh found you a probable church, the Arianna's new violist, Joanna, looks wonderful, you're going to Britt again this year, and you know your class schedule, and everything has fallen into place for you.
God prepared all of this, and you had no idea about any of it even a year ago! Your path is clear. He's got a plan for you, you know, and He's got you in the palm of His hand.
He loves you, Maren.
This was His idea, and he doesn't have bad ones. :)
He is big enough to take your worries, fears, and burdens, whatever they may be. Surrender to His perfect will, and know that by being here, you are in the center of it.
Maybe college was a good idea, after all. :)
1 comment:
Good letter.
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