Mmmmmmm, Fall.

You know that feeling the air gets in the fall, usually in October, where you walk outside and it's crisp and cool, but the sun is still out and warms your back? I love that feeling...it's kind of like eating warm pie with ice cream! I love October because of the beautiful fall weather. Even though today is still technically September, it is the first day that has really felt like fall to me. Thank You, Lord, for the seasons, the sun, the crisp air, and the turning leaves!

Being here is so crazy...some days I wake up and think, "Why am I even here? What in the world am I doing studying MUSIC PERFORMANCE of all things? I can't do this." And other days are wonderful...I'll have a particularly good practice session, lesson, or coaching, and I'll feel like I'm beginning to get the hang of things. Some days I feel like I fail so badly at time management, and I don't get what I want to get done done, and that's frustrating. Other days, I get more than enough done...but since I am a music major in college, there is ALWAYS more to do. I think there must be an art to prioritizing: knowing when to take a break, knowing when to press on, knowing how hard to push yourself, knowing what's most important. I haven't mastered this art by any means, but I'm working on at least getting a hold of it.

I turned in another paper this week...this time it was an article critique. We'll see how that one turns out. I also have a GIANT music history test on Monday that I've been studying for. The whole class is freaked out about it, but I think that I've got a pretty good handle on the information, even though there is a lot of it. Hopefully I'm not delusional....at least not more so than is normal for me. ;) I had another sightsinging test on Tuesday that went quite well. It took all of 30 seconds and I didn't even mess up my sol feg. :)

Wednesday night was viola class. This week, instead of meeting at the music building and playing through some things together, we met at Joanna's house and had pizza. It was Stephen's birthday on Thursday, so we had all chipped in to give him a present that Anne picked out. After that was over, Joanna busted out some facsimiles of the Bach cello suites that she had. They are facsimiles of the most original copies that are in existence; no original Bach cello suite manuscript survives, so there is a good amount of debate as to how these suites should be played. Each of us is working on a different Bach cello suite at the moment (I'm playing Number 2 in d minor), so we listened to many different recordings of the suites while looking over the facsimiles (we even watched some youtube of Rudolf Haken playing his transcriptions of them on his five-stringed viola! That was a trip, for sure.) Then we discussed what we heard and things that we noticed and asked any questions that we had. It was so interesting, and it really helped me get ideas for how I want to play my suite.


I'm really starting to love being here. Yes, it's taken me awhile, but I honestly am. It's hard, for sure...wrestling with the music every day, learning what it really means to be a musician, and a host of other issues, but it is also incredibly rewarding. When I was at Britt, I had a conversation with the second violinist of the Arianna, David. I asked him what the hardest thing about being a professional musician is. He looked at me kind of strangely, and said that he didn't know what the hardest thing was, but he did say that as a musician, you must make music your life. In most other professional fields, you can go to work, take care of what you need to take care of, go home with your paycheck, and leave your work at work. As a musician, that doesn't happen. You're constantly thinking of new ways to play, to phrase, to solve technical problems, to create moods and colors with your sound, and to say things with your music. You don't just drop that and leave it in the workplace. You CAN'T. You're always reworking things in your mind and always practicing and experimenting. Practicing doesn't really come in a set time frame, either. When you're a professional, you practice until you get it, however long that may be. To be successful as a musician, you must truly and deeply LOVE music. You must give and give and give of yourself each time you play, and you find that the more you give, the more you get back and you are able to give more the next time. That is what I am learning to nurture and develop here, and it's exhilirating, even through the rough patches.


There you have a few of my current struggles and thoughts. I hope you are all having a wonderful fall! I have a busy weekend, but I'll try to write again next week. :) Thank you again for your prayers. Please feel free to call or write. I may not get back to you right away, but I want to hear about the latest in Oregon. :) Aunt Sandy, thank you for the Halloween recipes! I love you all very much.



Grace and peace,

Maren